2015 Spring Update

And then there were 4...

First off, the big news... this tiny, hairy human now lives at my house...

His name is Riley Harrison Payne and he seems reasonably chill for being 0 years old.

Bling Bling

The 2014 multisport racing campaign garnered a genuine buttload of post-season hardware. USAT named me the 2014 Duathlete of the Year, and in what was a complete surprise to me, named me an honorable mention for Triathlete of the Year.

Closer to home, I took home 4(!) Minnesota Multisport Awards this time around: Triathlete of the Year, Duathlete of the Year, Long Distance Athlete of the Year and Performance of the Year. As is my style, I went a tiny bit too hard at the awards ceremony and most likely made a drunken ass of myself every time Jerry handed me the mic. Good times.

I'll be displaying these near the entrances to my house. That way any potential home invader will assume I'm some sort of mixed martial arts badass and nope the fuck out.

And last but most certainly least, I received the prestigious "Minnesota's Man of the Year" award from amateur triathlete/professional donut enthusiast Devon Palmer.

File photo.

So what do you get for being named "Minnesota's Man of the Year" by amateur triathlete/professional donut enthusiast Devon Palmer? Not a damn thing. Not even a sack of that hippie coffee he's always going on about. Step your game up Palmer.

Not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand I love turtles. But on the other hand I hate hippies. On second thought who gives a fuck. I don't even drink coffee due to it being super gross. Iced tea or GTFO.

Upgrades

I recently put some new shoes on the whip with the help of the fine folks at Gear West Bike and Tri in the form of a sweet limited edition Zipp Super 9 disc and 808 Firecrest front. Carbon clinchers of course because tubulars are for weird smelly old Euros.

I also said goodbye to my clapped out old Surly Crosscheck and picked up this Felt V85 for commuting, trailer towing, and general getting my ass from point A to point B duties. 

I'll probably write up a full review of this bike at some point.  At $1,399 MSRP this thing fuckin' delivers.

Once again I have to sing the praises of Gear West for being the most absurdly well stocked and knowledgeable tri shop anywhere. "A limited edition Super 9 disc and an 808 FC carbon clincher? Sure, come on in anytime, we've got piles of 'em in stock ready to go!" That's the kind of thing that precisely one shop in town can say.

St. Croix Valley Tri

Never done a triathlon and want to give it a try? Final Stretch is doing something really cool for first timers at the St. Croix Valley Tri that they're calling the Rookie Triathlon Experience. You get a pretty sweet list of amenities, including on-demand advice from my stupid ass. So get signed up and don't be shy about asking me for advice on whatever. 

Race Schedule

I'm planning on being on roadside turtle patrol at the following events:

• 5/17 - Gear West Duathlon
• 5/23 - Apple Duathlon
• 6/6 - Duathlon AG Nationals
• 6/14 - Capitol City Tri
• 6/28 - Lake Waconia Tri
• 7/11 - LTF MPLS Tri
• 7/19 - Heart of the Lakes Tri
• 8/8 - AG Nationals Oly
• 8/9 - AG Nationals Sprint
• 8/16 - Pigman Half
• 8/30 - Superiorman Tri
• 9/20 - ITU AG Worlds
• Maybe some random 70.3 or something in the fall if I still feel like it