'Sup internet? Long time, no updates. What have I been up to? Hell, what haven't I been up to. I feel like I've been running in 5 different directions at once for the last several weeks.
Lake Waconia Tri
First up is the Lake Waconia Tri. This has always been one of my favorite races, but even more so the last couple years because they hang up a super sexy banner of yours truly.
First up is the Lake Waconia Tri. This has always been one of my favorite races, but even more so the last couple years because they hang up a super sexy banner of yours truly.
The race went well and I honored the legacy of that amazing banner by finishing 2nd overall behind David Thompson. I also unlocked a lifetime achievement that I never thought possible by recording the fastest bike split of the field, DKT included. I can only assume he was some combination of really tired from racing the St. Louis 5150 the day before and/or not going 100% because he knew it was only my struggling ass back there chasing, but I adhere to a strict no excuses, no mercy policy. I learned it from watching Devon.
On a sad note, this race may not be back next year. Hopefully someone will step up and keep the race alive. I don't want to raise my son in a world where my banner does not get hung from the back of an RV once a year.
Trip to France
Not long after Waconia, T-Payne and I teamed up with our good friends Dave (aka the other half of the 2009 Burrito Union 10-hour Triathlon 2-man division champion Omaha Scrapes) and his wife Morgan and went to France, where we proudly represented the USA on the slopes of Alpe d'Huez during Stage 18 of the Tour de France.
If you're not jealous, you should be, because that trip was amazing. In addition to the regular touristy bullshit I brought my bike over and did a bunch of riding in the Alps, which I highly recommend if you ever get the chance. The most well known climbs we tackled were the Col de la Colombiere and the Col de Joux Plane, which are both Tour staples (although neither were on this year's route).
The real highlight, however was a lesser known climb in Switzerland up to a man-made lake called Lac d'Emosson. It finished off with 2km at 15% up the most ridiculous "road" I've ever encountered anywhere. This ice tunnel was right in the middle of that 15% section and was super sketchy because you couldn't see a damn thing in there and the melting snow made it extremely slippery.
And here's the view from the top. You can see that they're not huge fans of guard rails in Europe.
Also, the Euros have a very advanced swimwear game...
The GhettoBox3000
The trip to France turned out to be just the kick in the crotch I needed elevate my airline bike fee avoidance to full wizard status. I am proud to announce the arrival of the next generation in airline-defeating bicycle transportation systems, the GhettoBox3000. It's a composite construction consisting of approximately 50% fiberglass, 50% closed cell foam, 50% epoxy resin, 50% black spray paint, 50% sweat and 50% Coors Light. But wait a minute, doesn't that add up to 350%? Yes it does. This thing is that fucking awesome.
Here's the finished box shown next to my tri bike for scale.
If you're doubting that I got an entire bike in there, here's a size check I did during construction with my road bike.
Here's the TT frame in the box slightly farther into construction. It turns out that my TT frame packs down smaller than my road frame, which is largely irrelevant since the wheels are the true size limiter anyway.
And here's the fully packed road bike with all of the ancillary crap that also needed to come along (shoes, tools, water bottle, shorts/jerseys, etc.). The secret sauce is that most of that junk does double duty as padding for the bike.
It weighed in at 32 pounds fully packed and breezed through the airline check in counter with no issues. Patrick recently borrowed it and flew fee-free round trip from Minneapolis to Cali, Colombia for Duathlon Worlds. Since he was the sole representative from the USA in that competition I am hereby pronouncing myself the official bike box sponsor of Team USA Duathlon.
Chisago Lakes Half-Iron
I signed up for this race a few days before leaving for France hoping that it would keep me motivated to train during the trip. That didn't really happen as I ended up swimming one super shitty 2000m workout and ran a grand total of 15 or so miles (with zero quality whatsoever) during the trip, but on the bright side I did knock out a good solid block of hard riding during our too-short stay in the Alps.
I raced pretty much as expected after that: swimming pretty mediocre, riding like a beast and successfully faking it for the first half of the run before getting deep into the struggle for the 2nd half. The final miles of the run were super ugly, like barely under 8-minute pace ugly, but it got the job done and I finished 3rd behind DKT and Dan Hedgecock.
AG Nationals
Two weeks after Chisago I went to Milwaukee to race AG Nationals and got my ass handed to me, finishing 16th overall. That's my worst placing at Nationals ever. I'm not entirely sure what went wrong. I just didn't seem to "have it" that day. I'm most disappointed in my bike split. After what I did at Chisago and Waconia anything less than the #1 bike split in the AG Nationals field is a disappointment. To be over a minute off the pace is a complete fail. I inspected my bike pretty thoroughly after the race half-expecting to find a brake rubbing or something, but it turns out it was just good old-fashioned not pushing on the pedals hard enough.
My swim and run were also way off what I would consider acceptable. I think that was simply my haphazard training for the entire month of July coming home to roost. First world problems to be sure...
And here's the fully packed road bike with all of the ancillary crap that also needed to come along (shoes, tools, water bottle, shorts/jerseys, etc.). The secret sauce is that most of that junk does double duty as padding for the bike.
It weighed in at 32 pounds fully packed and breezed through the airline check in counter with no issues. Patrick recently borrowed it and flew fee-free round trip from Minneapolis to Cali, Colombia for Duathlon Worlds. Since he was the sole representative from the USA in that competition I am hereby pronouncing myself the official bike box sponsor of Team USA Duathlon.
Chisago Lakes Half-Iron
I signed up for this race a few days before leaving for France hoping that it would keep me motivated to train during the trip. That didn't really happen as I ended up swimming one super shitty 2000m workout and ran a grand total of 15 or so miles (with zero quality whatsoever) during the trip, but on the bright side I did knock out a good solid block of hard riding during our too-short stay in the Alps.
I raced pretty much as expected after that: swimming pretty mediocre, riding like a beast and successfully faking it for the first half of the run before getting deep into the struggle for the 2nd half. The final miles of the run were super ugly, like barely under 8-minute pace ugly, but it got the job done and I finished 3rd behind DKT and Dan Hedgecock.
AG Nationals
Two weeks after Chisago I went to Milwaukee to race AG Nationals and got my ass handed to me, finishing 16th overall. That's my worst placing at Nationals ever. I'm not entirely sure what went wrong. I just didn't seem to "have it" that day. I'm most disappointed in my bike split. After what I did at Chisago and Waconia anything less than the #1 bike split in the AG Nationals field is a disappointment. To be over a minute off the pace is a complete fail. I inspected my bike pretty thoroughly after the race half-expecting to find a brake rubbing or something, but it turns out it was just good old-fashioned not pushing on the pedals hard enough.
My swim and run were also way off what I would consider acceptable. I think that was simply my haphazard training for the entire month of July coming home to roost. First world problems to be sure...
Anyway, congrats to Colin Riley for winning the overall and my friendly M35-39 arch-nemesis Mark Harms for putting together a superb race, finishing 5th overall and winning our AG by 2+ minutes.
Lesson learned for next year...
Up Next
As I sit here writing this, I have 10 days until I get a shot at redeeming myself on the 70.3 WC course in Vegas. For anyone who stumbled upon this blog recently and somehow managed to scroll this far down before losing interest, I literally almost killed myself in that race last year. Well, that may be a little dramatic, but I did DNF via keeling over on the side of the road on the run course and blacking out for several minutes.
While I'm obviously a little nervous to go race in that heat again, I'm also getting pretty excited because I knocked out some really solid training since Nationals and I finally feel like I'm coming into some decent form (and injury free, knock on every piece of wood within reach). The field is ridiculously stacked, being the world championship and all, but I'm still coming in with pretty lofty goals. It should be a good one.
Assuming I don't have a repeat of last year's performance in Vegas, two weeks later I'll be tackling the Leadman 250 out in Bend, OR, which features a patently absurd 223km of biking. The aforementioned Dave and Morgan went to Bend on vacation a couple years ago and were so impressed by the place that they picked up their entire fucking lives and moved there. I figure with an endorsement like that I should at least check it out for a weekend. Also, free place to stay!
I have no idea what to expect for this race other than a really angry taint from being on the bike for 6+ hours straight. I'd like to think I'm capable of going sub-9 to earn the giant belt buckle. There's only one way to find out I suppose.
Great, funny post! Hope Vegas went better than last year.
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